We’ve been spending a lot of time at home and a lot of time online. For some of us, we’re seeing more people in the media than in real life.
We all know it’s not real. Music videos, movies, video games and online catalogs show us a very narrow ideal.
We see a lot of skin in advertising and in pornography, but those videos and images are not showing normal bodies. In fact, the images are highly modified, like this.
Those images do us harm, decreasing self-esteem, leading to unhealthy body image, and higher rates of depression. They promote unhealthy relationships with food and eating disorders, which are the most fatal of all mental health challenges.
Now, I’m not saying you have to be naked with your kids or them with you. Even though the benefits have been established, it might not match your values, your family, or your culture.
Turns out, there’s lots of nude art, and it’s accessible online. Art you can share with your kids. You (and they) will notice right away that it’s not porn.
It turns out that being naked is not the same thing as being sexual, and seeing naked bodies isn’t necessarily arousing. Disconnecting nudity and sex, two ideas which are often conflated, is a good thing.
I can almost guarantee they’re curious. Most people are curious! We cover up with clothes and it’s rare to see imperfect skin, hair, and bellies. Least common of all is seeing people’s private parts.
That curiosity is healthy and should be satisfied by real bodies, not porn. Viewing real bodies leads to better acceptance of our own traits. Viewing manicured bodies leads to comparison and dissatisfaction.
Plus, a video posted to the internet on an artist’s site is ethically done. The artist has obtained the consent of everyone involved – this isn’t voyeurism or invasion of privacy. No one watching these videos has to feel guilty or like a peeping tom.
Best of all, this can prompt some interesting discussions.
I’ll save you the trouble of googling for images of naked people and weeding out the pornography. (Ye-gads, that would be awful! Just imagine the links that would be showing up in your sidebar for the next 6 months.)
Here’s the site I recommend to clients when they tell me their kids are curious, turning to porn for lack of anything else.
You get to preempt that, offering this before your kids try entering anatomical terms into the search bar.
As with any resource, check it out yourself before sharing with your kids. I think these are great, and I hope you do, too. You’ll see different body types, different ages and stages, various grooming practices, body art and piercings. Not very racially diverse, I have to admit, but that could lead to an interesting discussion, too.
Now, remember, this is an invitation, not a requirement. Consent!! If your partner or child does not want to partake, please respect their wishes. If you offer and they decline, that’s fine. You’ve planted the seed for another time.
Enjoy!! Let me know how it goes…
