After Officer Simmons attended one of John Van Arnam’s presentations at the R.I.S.E. School Safety Training in August 2022, he was inspired to share the talk he had with his kids that evening at the dinner table.
After a The Third Talk™ meeting with John Van Arnam, as a family, the son and the Mom agreed to come in and speak about their experience.
“I don’t know of anyone or have heard of anyone that has more knowledge about kids avoiding porn than John. That’s not why I wanted him to talk to my girl. I wanted him to talk with my girl because he has a calm easy manner about him that allows for open communication. I am 100% confident that I couldn’t answer the questions he did.”
“I know I wasn’t having this talk with my sons. They told me some things, but I never knew how much of this content was available to them. I know filters don’t work. I didn’t have a real plan. We do now.”
“I want my kids to have a fun respectful and meaningful sex life. Online porn is not that, it’s the opposite. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do to address it. But Coach John sure did! It was amazing what he was able to share with my boy while making him feel at ease. That (pornography) is a conversation that we now have regularly in our home, and before it just wasn’t. We talk about safety now that is a part of it. I recommend his services highly!”
“I want my kids to have a fun respectful and meaningful sex life. Online porn is not that, it’s the opposite. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do to address it. But Coach John sure did! It was amazing what he was able to share with my girls while making them feel at ease. That (pornography) is a conversation that we now have regularly in our home, and before it just wasn’t. We talk about safety now that is a part of it. I recommend his services highly!”
“Call him. Make yourself feel better! We all know porn is out there, but what to do about it? I sure didn’t know, but (John) did! I feel better now. I didn’t expect that part.” (Only spoke to the 13 y/o)
“John’s presentation was extremely valuable. Educating ourselves with our middle school student present supported us as parents to have easier follow up conversations afterwards. It allowed us to have open dialogue as a family that was more accessible since the door was opened in a non-threatening way. John was engaging with the students present and his humor, as well as his seriousness, was captivating. If more students and parents invested in educating themselves around this topic, we believe it would be monumental in tackling this epidemic and lower the risks associated with youth and porn. We highly recommend attending John’s porn presentation with your child.”
“This is bad! There is so much porn out there I had no idea. We should be teaching this in schools. I would like to have John come speak at my school, how do I book him at [Elementary School]? Can he call us, my name is [name redacted] and my number is [number redacted]. This is something everyone should hear.”
“The statistics are crazy. I thought that there couldn’t be a solution to this, and now I know that there is. We saw the ’Third Talk’ as a family and I would recommend that to everyone.”
“My son just flat out told me he watched porn at the age of 10. I didn’t know what to say because I have watched porn and I didn’t want to sound like a hypocrite. I brushed it off because I didn’t know what to say. I do now. Never again.”
“We didn’t know how to talk about this with our kids. We do now. Thank you.”
“Our Daughter saw hardcore pornography in a tent at a sleepover when she was 8 years old. We saw John speak at our school 4 days later. After that we all spoke together for the first time honestly about what happened. We even went to see John when he came back to our school for the second time. He just opens up conversation in a way that isn’t scary.”
“You should just go see him! John’s humor and rapport with the kids in the room gave us all an ease and honesty that was as easy for my husband and I as well as our son. I couldn’t stress enough how easy and non-threatening this was. Go see him, you’ll feel better!”
“It’s so hard knowing what to say to your kids about sex, then throw in pornography and you feel paralyzed! John was so great talking with me and my kids that he opened a door to a whole new relationship between us. I can speak plainly, and my kids will listen and even communicate back!”
“My young son was showing signs of being really withdrawn. I’d ask him what was wrong, but he wouldn’t talk to me. John Van Arnam came to his school and we went and listened. My son opened up for the first time and told me a friend had shown him pornography. He was really confused about it. We are now having a conversation we might never have had, and I owe that to seeing The Third Talk. If you haven’t found a way to do that go see him (John).”
“I did not know how to talk to my kids about pornography. It’s totally embarrassing and I didn’t want to be the reason they found out about it and maybe started watching it. John confirmed my fear that they might have already been introduced to it. They had been and much earlier than I thought. We were able to talk about it and why they shouldn’t watch it. I think the “why” was the most important part; no matter what their friends say. Thank you, John, for making this conversation significantly less painful!”
“I heard about The Third Talk through a friend and went to the website. It’s really logical to talk with our kids about this, but knowing how? I thought it was going to be strange and uncomfortable, but John’s consultation made it so easy! Honestly I cannot believe that I waited as long as I did. If you have boys, and you haven’t spoken to them about porn yet, you should call him (John). ”
“If you have kids and you’re worried about them seeing pornography and learning about sex in the most inappropriate way, you have to schedule him (John) to talk with you and your children. It is a great investment, and it was so much more relaxed than I could have ever imagined. I worried about it for months and months and never did anything about it. I want to thank John for his wisdom and experience, and more importantly for doing this work with care and calm in a way that kids can hear. That was the best part, my kids heard it and understood.”
“John brought my children and I closer together with real talk about a real problem for our young people; my young people! They are likely going to see it, but armed with the right knowledge, they can reject it.” (Did not speak with the 8 y/o)
“My kids and I talk about everything now. Someone tries to watch pornography around my kids, they shut it down and they tell me. Thank you John, for making us aware of this growing problem! My kids are going to be much healthier adults now that they have the right information to choose what is and what is not good for them on their own. He shared ‘why’ kids shouldn’t want to see it and that was the most valuable for them and for me.”
“Go to the site. Just read the studies, resources and testimonials. Then call John and schedule an appointment. You’ll be glad you did!”
“Not long after seeing John speak at my son’s school, my son came home and told me about his friend whose mom let him use her computer when she’s not around. I now know that an innocent search can produce some really damaging stuff. We talked about it and he’s not allowed to hang out with that friend unless the computer isn’t around. Period.”
“John makes this really difficult conversation easy, and dare I say, fun! He’s funny and calm and just understands that good parenting means not overreacting. It’s not our kid’s fault that this stuff is out there, but we have to talk about it because it is out there.” (Did not speak with the 7 y/o)
“I have four kids and my husband and I work. John is an indispensable resource for this conversation. Finding the time is hard but finding the right way to talk about it had proved impossible; at least we never had the conversation ourselves. He made it painless, truly easy, and we are all the better for it.”
“It really is all about communication. I attended John’s talk at our school and I’m glad I did. This is something we can now talk about at home. I had no idea what to expect, and I also knew I had no idea how to talk to my kids about it. I’m glad I went!”
“Thank you! Having Hannah there was amazing!!!We need to have this be a mandatory part of Sex-Ed in Schools so all kids can hear it!”
“Thank you so much for your time and experience. Hearing your talk, I now wonder why we haven’t heard about this before now. It’s not scary for me anymore, it is a part of our children’s life, like drinking and smoking will be. Parents need to talk about this altogether. You should have a talk for 11 and under, 12-15y/o and over 15! Do you have that already? I think you should have 3 separate talks so everyone can hear this.”
