Parenting is a difficult and nuanced responsibility made more complicated by technology and an ever-changing social landscape. Add to that the discomfort of talking to our kids about sensitive topics and we can find ourselves avoiding the most important conversations that lead to the harms that can mold our children in ways that go against our intentions and values.
In 2018 The New York Post published an article entitled “Most parents think their kids avoid talking to them.”[1] The article covers a survey conducted by OnePoll regarding parent/child communication.
One in five parents regularly struggle to have a meaningful conversation with their child, according to new research.
The study of 2,000 parents of school-aged children examined how modern families find time to sit down and talk to one another amid often frantic routines.
The results showed parent/child relationships can be quite a challenge to create and maintain, as seven in 10 parents feel they (71 percent) struggle to communicate meaningfully with their child.
Only 10 percent of parents said they’ve never struggled to have meaningful conversations with their kids.
Eight in ten parents (82 percent) say they feel like their child avoids having conversations with them and 23 percent say their child will often give short answers or even just grunts and noises when they try to talk to them.
Sadly enough, this leads 78 percent of parents to feel like they’re being shut out of their child’s life.
Children distancing themselves from their parents is nothing unusual and according to the results, this typically starts to happen at around age 11.
This is also around the average age of first porn exposure, with children as young as age 10 seeing content on any device that can connect to the internet[2]. And even though many parents feel their child has never seen, nor ever will see adult content, the statistics point to a very different reality.
75% of parents in the United States don’t believe that their kids ever have or ever will see this content. And to me, that might be the biggest problem we have. – John Van Arnam, Founder of the Third Talk®[3]
The Third Talk not only offers young adult testimonials of youth that watched and became addicted to pornography as early as age 9, many of these young people plead with parents to talk to their kids about this issue.[4]
I want parents to know it’s not just children who live in bad neighborhoods. It’s not just kids who have bad parents. Kids can find porn anywhere. We have to teach our kids why this is wrong. This is not what love is; this is not what sex is. … Honestly, to not tell a child what sex is in this world, is going to let someone else be their teacher, and sadly, the internet became mine. That’s the reality in this day and age in our modern world. – Elie, “Parents We Need You” Youth Testimonial[4]
The bright side is that The Third Talk makes this otherwise difficult conversation easy, and not just for the most difficult conversations. Whether you are a parent who struggles with talking to your kids or a parent who is already talking to your kids, John Van Arnam’s approach to communicating with your children can be applied to any conversation. The strategy is successful and will bond you closer to your child. The bonus is that it also works for this difficult conversation. That is why John developed the Parent’s Guide. It is a very small price to pay when you consider the damage that can be done by early exposure to online pornography.[5]
John is also available for Private Consultations and is available for Appearances. This is a movement to protect our kids, and we need your help! Donate, share our articles and social media posts and Volunteer so we can reach more parents to protect our nation’s future from the harms caused by this content.
Parent’s Guide: https://thethirdtalk.org/the-third-talk-parents-guide/
Consultations: https://thethirdtalk.org/coaching-sessions/
Request an Appearance: https://thethirdtalk.org/book-the-third-talk/
Donate: https://thethirdtalk.org/donate/
1. Most parents think their kids avoid talking to them: https://nypost.com/2018/09/07/most-parents-think-their-kids-avoid-talking-to-them/
2. Most children exposed to porn by age 12, study says: https://www.wlbt.com/2023/01/10/most-children-exposed-porn-by-age-12-study-says/
3. The Third Talk® Educators: https://youtu.be/ICOzEKSu8oA
4. Youth speaking to camera during an interview conducted by The Third Talk® regarding underage exposure to pornography and pornography addiction, October 2021: https://thethirdtalk.org/young-person-testimonials/
5. Underage Porn Consumption and Sexual Violence Among Adolescents: https://thethirdtalk.org/underage-porn-consumption-and-sexual-violence-among-adolescents/
